Standardized Testing

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The assassins of standardized testing the eraser drawingRecently, I had to take a standardized test for school. Basically, I got a topic and had to write an essay about it. I’d tell you what the topic was, but I read the warnings on the bottom of that test and the people who make it mean business. For example, if you take a picture of the test, you can go to prison. So anyway, while I was taking the test I was chewing gum. When my gum lost its flavor I put another piece of gum in my mouth. At this point, my wad of gum was the size of a ping-pong ball. I was concentrating on the test and I popped my gum by accident. Like I said, these test people mean business, so the gum popping thing kind of freaked my out. Thankfully, no one noticed. After I finished the test, I was not allowed to read or leave the room. Many people finished around the same time I did, and we didn’t have anything to do. For thirty minutes, I stared at the wall and drew pictures with my pencil eraser in the gloss of my desk. (I draw eraser pictures often.) Finally, we were allowed to get books out. When every person finished taking the test, it was lunch time. I usually only get twenty minutes for lunch but because the test ran into lunch time, I had about thirteen minutes to eat.

When you’re Bored

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This is a list of the top six things I’ve seen people do when they’re bored in school.

1. “Can we play poker in here sometime?”
What student asked teacher in history class during WWI lesson.

2. People will make up fake bands and give classmates roles in the band.

3. People will start rapping the introduction to a rap song. Others will join in to create the intro. Occasionally, they’ll just go ahead and sing the whole song.

4. They’ll rip the eraser off their pencil and throw it at someone.
That person will throw an eraser back. This happened in one of my math classes and about 97 percent of the class was eraser throwing. The teacher did not even realize it till the middle of the year. She noticed that erasers littered the floor after class. She was oblivious to all of the eraser wars.

5. They’ll create a beat.
Is also happened in math class. One person started tapping their pencil and another person started tapping their foot and etc, until a loud beat was formed.

6. They’ll ask the teacher questions.
A substitute gave our class some busy work to do. This made everyone angry. The class tried to cough at the same time. The sub glared at us. Someone told her that the flu was going around. Then, another person thought she looked like a cat lady so they asked her if she had any cats. She paused before she answered “Maybe I have cats…” Their reply was an eager: “How many, what are their names?”

The Types Of People That You’ll Sit By

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Whether your school days are long over or current, some of these types of people to sit near in class are sure to ring a bell with you.

1. The Person Who Talks Around You
Unfortunately, you’ve been seated between two people who talk to each other non-stop. They will have their heads stuck behind you talking.

2. The Person Who Sprays On Body Products In Class
This type of person may be rare, but I actually am seated next to someone that does this. This person gets out their body mist and sprays it on themselves during class every day. When you leave that class you will undoubtably smell like their body mist.

3. The Person Who Constantly Texts
This person texts all the time. They manage to hide their phone from the teacher time after time.

4. The Person Who Does Not Sit
This person does not sit in their seat. The sit cross-legged or twist themselves into some sort of pretzel and stay that way during the lesson. This is not bothersome, it is
just odd.

5. The Person Who Does Crafts/ Magic Tricks During Class
This person always seems to be doing something, whether they are eating a dollar bill or emptying a pen of its ink.

If you think of any more kinds of people to sit next to, leave a description of them in the comments!!

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200 Views

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Yea!!! 200 views! Thanks for reading A Swirling Enigma! Please comment on my blog posts, follow A Swirling Enigma, and tell other people about A Swirling Enigma. I know that 200 views it not all that much but A Swirling Enigma is a fledgling blog. In November, when I started my blog 200 views seemed unobtainable!!! Thanks for 200 views!!
Sincerely,
Trinity Bronte

If Cockroaches Replaced Humans

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We all know about the dinosaurs. We know that some were vicious ( like the t-rex.) We’ve all seen toddlers wearing t-rex t-shirts. We’ve also probably all seen a science show that talks about cockroaches, and the possibility that if everything on earth becomes extinct, cockroaches could continue living. Let’s go back to the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are extinct, and many humans find them fasinating. Let’s say that everything except cockroaches become extinct. You are now in the future. Cockroaches have evolved. They are the new dominant species. The bodily structure of the cockroaches is very similar to humans, but slightly more efficient and durable. Cockroaches have recorded their history. Cockroach pre-history, however, is diffrent from that of humans. Their pre-history tells of the humans. We look to the streets now. A small cockroach wears a piece of clothing. It is holding hands with another roach, which I believe to be its mother. The article of clothing has an image on it. We zoom in on the image. The image is of a human! This young cockroach is very intrested in the extinct species of humans. Vicious humans particularly intrest him. His shirt features a human that is dressed in all black. There are various weapons beside the human, including a handgun, a throwing star, a poison dart launcher, and a fork. (The cockroaches have difficulty determining what human artifacts are weapons.) A tv in a nearby apartment building features a science show about humans. The roaches are fascinated with humans and human nature. Human “artifacts” have made their way into museums. The only thing different from the dinosaurs:humans and the humans:roaches is that the humans left the Earth in quite a bad state. The roaches have a bit of a grudge about that. So, how do you think that the dinosaurs felt?

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New Year’s Resolutions

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Every year, before New Years, people decide how they will change their life for the coming year. We call this practice making New Year’s resolutions. The thing is, people rarely keep these resolutions. For example, last year, my dad’s resolution was to clean out the garage. It is New Year’s Eve today and he still has not cleaned out the garage. Making a New Year’s resolution can be futile, but we still do it. Today, I’ll be examining some of the most common New Year’s resolutions. I’ll be compiling the list from various New Year’s resolution- covering sites I visit. The resolutions are in no particular order. Also if you’re being goaded to pick a resolution, try one from the list.

1. Healthier Lifestyle

There is nothing wrong with this resolution. It is, however, the cliché of resolutions. It is also probably one on the most dismissed resolutions. So, to anybody who’s trying to get healthy this year, go for it! (Don’t forget)

2. Quit Smoking

This is a great resolution. If you smoke, this is the resolution for you. I’m not going to go into the dangers of smoking. If you’re curious, just Google it.

3. More time with family

This resolution would be particularly hard to keep if you had an irritable family.

4.Lead a less stressful life

A stressful life really stinks. This would be a good resolution, but only if you had the ability to actually accomplish this. If you have a demanding job, and other stress-causing things to deal with, this is a terrible resolution. The holidays are not the time try to lead a life with less stress. If you want to try this resolution, maybe you should start in March.

5. Financial “stuff”

For lack of a better word, I used “stuff.” I am really NOT the one to come to for financial matters. Some advice I’d give would be: Try not to spend money recklessly.

6.Quit Drinking

Do you want to be mentally impaired at certain times? Do you want to risk an addiction? Do you want to spend your money on something that will not improve your life? Do you want to get arrested for driving drunk? Do you want to look stupid in front of other people? No? Then don’t drink.

7.Learn something new

This would make for a productive resolution. My only advice, don’t go out and buy an instrument. Before buying an instrument, you should have expert advice and a strong will to play that instrument. Otherwise, when cleaning out your attic one day, you’ll find that dusty old piccolo.

As for my New Year’s resolution:

I don’t really have one.

Funny Mispronuniations

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These are the words that I hear mispronounced often. They’re actually kind of funny if you think about them.

1. word: specific-Mispronunciation: pacific

The pacific is an ocean. Actually, it is the world’s largest ocean. Specific means to narrow your topic. The pacific ocean covers the most land of any ocean. Maybe you can see why I find this amusing.

2. Porcupine- Porky Pine

A porcupine is an animal with quills. A porky pine is a fat tree.

3.Irregardless- regardless

Irregardless is not a word. Regardless means without regards. Taking this into consideration, the definition of irregardless would be without without regards.

 

 

Worst Christmas Songs

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christmas shoesDo you ever hear those Christmas songs on the radio that make you roll your eyes and change the radio station? I’ll be listing a few here.

1. The Christmas Shoes

The Christmas shoes is about a boy who wants to buy his sick and dying mother a pair of shoes before she goes to heaven so that she can look good when she sees God. If you have not heard it before, go listen to it on Youtube. Now, if I was that stranger who the boy asked for money I might suggest the emergency room. The boy’s mom is dying and instead of being with her he goes to the store. Secondly, why doesn’t he just call 911! This stranger seems to find it perfectly OK that this boy has a dying mother who might be able to be saved. The Mom died, so I hoped she liked her shoes.

2. Last Christmas

If you haven’t heard this song go listen to it on Youtube now. First of all, this is a breakup song. There are enough breakup songs as it is without songs being written about Christmas breakups. Also, this song is not even really Christmas themed. Let’s disect the lyrics.

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you gave it away.”- Christmas version

“Yesterday, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you gave it away.”- non-Christmas version in which I have replaced one word

3. Grandma got Run over by a Reindeer

Again, go listen to it on Youtube if you haven’t heard it before.

“She’d been drinking too much egg nog, And we’d begged her not to go. But she forgot her medication, And she staggered out the door into the snow.”
I think that this verse speaks for itself. I wonder if some elderly people are offended by this song.

4. Baby it’s Cold Outside

This song is just weird. Go listen to it if you haven’t heard it.

“Listen to the fire place roar
So really I’d better scurry
Beautiful, please don’t hurry
But maybe just half a drink more
Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think
Baby, it’s bad out there
Say what’s in this drink?”

Here are some of the lyrics to this song. Look at the words in bold. Did that girl just get poisoned? Run girl, Run!!! If your drink tastes like bitter almonds it’s arsenic!!

Next time you hear these songs on the radio, maybe you will think about them a little bit more, because these songs are just plain weird!

*These songs don’t belong to me. I’m just commenting on them. This picture also does not belong to me.

A TV review of: The Last Episode of iCarly

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The last episode of icarly was bittersweet. icarly started in 2007 and I started watching it shortly after that. Some would say that it was time for icarly to end. Take my brother, for example. When my brother saw the commercial for the last episode of icarly he cheered. He literally whooped gleefully from his seat. My reaction was less excited. icarly has gone on so long, I could not imagine that it was ending. Before this I learned that Miranda Cosgrove was going to college. I figured icarly would end soon, but I did not give it much thought. When I watched icarly, I looked for solutions to the characters of icarly’s long-term problems. There were some, but not any that I found to be particularly significant.     In the last episode of icarly (igoodbye), Carly moves to Italy. The episode did a good job of tying up loose plot ends while managing to be humorous. Many former characters made appearances. In the last part of the show Carly and Sam did a webcast. Carly said her goodbyes (and kissed Freddie, which seemed a little out of place to me) and left. The last webcast featured many of the former icarly comedy routines, which were as funny as they were before. Carly’s dad also made an appearance, which has never happened before. In the last seconds of the show, Carly was sitting on the plane with her dad. She watched part of icarly’s first web cast ( which was amusing because all of the actors looked to be about 11,) and then watched part of the last webcast. In the end of the episode the camera showed an outside view of the apartment building that Carly and Spencer lived in. We heard Freddie’s voice say ” and we’re clear.”  icarly went out with a bang, and the co-star of that show will be co-starring in another show as Sam Puckett. Yea!!!!!